Saving you, saving me
by JustRYo
Summary: They say that the one you love most hurts you the most. Only, they never really gave a damn what the world had to say.
1. Chapter 1

"So, you sing?"

"Well, for my shower curtain, yeah."

"Yeah? We should plug in the mic later."

"Oh, uh..."

The first time he met her was at band practice. She was a short 15 year old girl with bubblegum pink hair, leaning back against a cold brick wall like a shy kitten ready to sprint away at a moments notice. She accompanied his lead guitarist to the art gallery, they had a gig to practice for.

"So, what's your name?"

The first time he spoke to her was when everyone sat outside. He was rolling a joint to pass around, they always seemed to focus better, get the inspiration flowing when high.

"It's, uh... It's Sakura."

"Hmm. Fitting."

He was only 19, but his eyes glinted like he was a weary old man. He would catch her looking at him with curiosity, but always quick to avert her gaze when he noticed. She blushed easily, and he found it extremely enduring.

"Yo, Kakashi! Done with that yet? I wanna blaze, dude!"

"Be patient, will you?"

Sitting across from him, he heard her giggle. It was a soft sound, and he had to wonder if she was a mouse in disguise. Smirking in her direction, Kakashi finished rolling the joint before bringing it to his lips to light it. He took a long drag before offering it to the pink haired girl.

"Blaze with me?"

She gave a nervous smile before shaking her head, "no, thank you. I'm good."

He shrugged before lifting himself off the ground to pass the joint on to one of his band mates.

The first time he felt regretful for not doing something was when she said her quiet goodbye later that evening. He had wanted to ask for her number so he could at least text her if he wouldn't see her again, but his mouth would not open to allow the words to escape. Her shy smile in his direction coaxed a small nod from his head to acknowledge her departure. But that was all he allowed himself.

The lead guitarist in his band scowled in Kakashi's direction, but he paid the 17 year old boy no mind. He never bothered to waste his time on girls, music was more than enough for him. So he was not about to let a quarrel over a girl split up his band when they were so close to making a name for themselves.

The first time he texted her was 6 in the morning. He had asked for her number from his band mate when he learned that the boy was never really that serious about her to begin with, and gave Kakashi her digits without a second thought.

She replied immediately to his text, claiming she had had an all nighter busy playing online on her console, and that she was pleasantly surprised to have her day start with a text from him.

He had quickly coughed into his elbow when he felt his mouth twitch into a smirk when his friends looked at him as if he grew a second head.

They would then continue to text for the rest of that day with him secretly smiling at his screen when he read something she texted that was particularly cute or amusing.

But when she playfully nicknamed him "sparklepants", saying it was only fitting because he was in a band, he couldn't help but give her a silly nickname himself.

Kakashi couldn't help but feel he might grow a very strong bond with this girl, but he feared she might shatter his heart if he gave her the chance to hold it in her hands. So old habits quickly set in after a week, and he started to keep her at a distance, rather build on a strong friendship instead.

The first time he started to ignore her texts was when he found out a few months later that she had met a guy that promised her the moon and stars. She communicated through her texts with Kakashi that she was completely smitten and that she decided to give it a try.

He was more than happy to support her choice since they were very good friends and he thought that was what friends were supposed to do.

He couldn't be happier though that he had kept her in the friend zone, for he was sure his heart cracked a bit.

He then proceeded to focus more fully on his band. Drowning himself in gig after gig, drink after drink, drug after drug. And he never felt more alive and empty at the same time.

The first time he sent her a text after a year since they last talked, she confided in him that she fell pregnant. He was 21 and she was 16.

He couldn't decide whether he felt sorry for her or hated her. He had wanted to meet up with her before she broke the news to him. He was sure that he could sway her mind into giving him a chance at a relationship with her. He was no longer in a band, and he had quit his drug habits.

That day was also the first time he decided to move to a different state because of a girl. He felt like kicking himself in the ass for get so hung up over a girl when he previously never bothered to give girls the time of his day.

A few days before he moved he received a text from her. She was hoping he would at least go and say goodbye in person, but he never replied to it.

The first time he was reminded of her after 6 months trying his best to move on and start anew, he was busy cleaning the counter top of the bar he managed. A song blared loudly through the speakers as patrons shouted and laughed drunkenly over the music.

He decided to ring himself a few shots on a particularly drunk man's tab, sure that the guy would never be any wiser. He then proceeded to drink himself to oblivion until his shift ended in an effort to get the color pink out of his mind. He'd sleep for 3 hours in his rented room at a scruffy complex before waking up and returning to work again to busy hinself enough not to think of her.

The first time he laid eyes on her again was when he moved back to his hometown. She gave birth to a boy and his first birthday was a month away.

When she heard of his return, she had texted him first. Asking if he would come say hello. He was 22 and she was 17. Her 18th birthday was in the same month as her son's birthday and she had asked him to at least celebrate it with her because she had no friends left after everyone learned of her pregnancy.

He wasn't sure whether he wanted to. She was a mother now and he never had any inclination of meddling in her life now. He didn't want any baggage that was not his own, and that's exactly what she had. She was a package deal.

He decided to go visit her anyway, not really giving a damn what it could lead to if he wasn't careful. But they had been good friends for 3 years now. He wanted to see her.

And she was just as beautiful as the first time he saw her at the art gallery. Her pink hair reached her waist. A waist that was still as small even after her pregnancy. Her breast were larger than he remembered, but other than that she still looked the same. The biggest change however, was the sleeping toddler cradled in her arms. She gave him one of her brightest smiles.

"Hey, Sak." He breathed out, his shoulders sagging slightly.

Sakura motioned for him to step inside her home before she told him she'd only be a moment to lay the baby down in his crib for his afternoon nap.

He took the time to settle himself on one of the couches is her living room, glancing about himself. She returned a few minutes later with a cup of coffee for each of them.

"So," he began, "you're a mom."

She gave him a small smile, averting her gaze to look at the cup cradled between her hands, "yeah, I guess so."

He fell silent then, nodding his head. She attempted to make small talk then, giving an awkward giggle between stories she told him from what had been going on in her life.

The tension started to die down after a while as they relaxed. Kakashi began telling her little stories about what had been going on with him in the last 2 years. His eyes would soften whenever she laughed at something he said that she found funny, making him chuckle along with her.

They sat there for a few hours, just talking, before the baby could be heard crying from his room. Sakura quickly excused herself with an apologetic smile.

The first time he decided that kids weren't so bad was when the 1 year old boy, Mamoru, crawled all over him using him as a human jungle gym.

They had packed a bag with a blanket and sandwiches to have a quick lunch next to the river, enjoying a day out in the sun. It was the perfect weather for a picnic.

Kakashi had brought his acoustic guitar with, planning to play a few peaceful tunes as they ate, but the little boy made it impossible for him to do so.

Sakura was quick to fuss over the both of them, picking the toddler up to sit in her lap, hoping to keep his curious mind busy with a rattle.

"I'm sorry, he's such a busy little boy. He won't sit still for a moment."

Kakashi gave her a sincere smile, telling her that there was no need to apologize, and that he would be worried if the kid wasn't as busy.

Mamora was quick to give his own opinion, babbling in a language only he could understand, giggling every now and then when he saw Kakashi pull a funny face at him.

He decided then, that maybe, life wouldn't be so bad, even if it came with a package deal. He found himself rather excited to discover what the future had in store for him. He only hoped that Sakura would give him a chance.

But most importantly, he prayed that he didn't screw this up.

xxx

A/n: hey guys. So, I'm gonna try out this writing stuff. Lol. Lemme know how i did? Thank you for taking the time to read this, this will be a multi chapter story. Hope you guys enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys. This will be the official first chapter. The previous one was sort of like an intro. I really hope this story will receive well… Just to get a few things out of the way; English is not my first language but I'm thankfully not extremely bad at it either. So please forgive spelling and grammar mistakes.

I will also try to do updates every two weeks. So, without further ado, let's continue on to the story.

I'm really excited to get this out there.

Xxx

Sakura pulled the blanket closer to her chin, listening to the faint snoring coming from behind her. She sniffled lightly, not wanting to disturb the man her back was turned on. She never really understood how he could fall asleep so quickly. Especially after a fight. She scrubbed her cheeks dry from the tears on the sleeve of her night shirt before silently crawling out of bed to go the bathroom. She could hear him mutter something in his sleep but didn't bother looking over her shoulder to see if she woke him up. Their room was overwhelmed with the smell of strong booze.

Closing the bathroom door behind her, Sakura splashed some cold water onto her face, rubbing furiously at her eyes. She was so exhausted, from the fight and crying, but sleep would not claim her. Glancing at herself in the mirror above the sink, she scowled at the image staring back at her. Swollen blood shot eyes, a red stuffy nose and puffed up tear streaked cheeks.

_You look absolutely wonderful._

She turned away from the mirror in anger to grab a tissue from the tissue box that was placed on the bathroom's windowsill. She felt pathetic as a fresh wave of tears forced their way out and she hiccupped in the effort to keep her sobs as silent as she could. Her tears were angry tears. Angry tears because she was angry at herself for being so emotional. Maybe he was right, maybe she was too sensitive. Quick to cry over nothing. But they just wouldn't stop.

Sakura plopped herself down on the cold tiled floor in front of the bath tub, hiding her face in her hands as she quietly sobbed. She just wished she could crawl into bed and sleep the night away. Maybe she would feel better in the morning, try to talk to Kakashi again. But previous attempts in the past four years showed her that it never turned out that way.

They would ignore each other for a day or two, until one of them got tired of it. One of them would make an offhanded comment about something which would only piss the other off and the fight would continue where it stopped.

She was so sick of this pattern, so tired of it all. She would lie if she said she never thought about just putting an end to this relationship to just stop this never ending cycle. Thing would go great between them for a few weeks before they start fighting over stuff that never seemed to be resolved no matter how many times they try to talk it out, try to move past it.

Sakura blew her nose in the tissue before whipping the tears on the sleeve of her shirt again. Her anger was quickly turning into a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach, making her feel more exhausted than she did a few minutes ago.

Pushing herself up from the cold floor, she made her way back to bed just as silently as before to sleep away the night. She only hoped that the sweet dark abyss of slumber would claim her quickly and take that feeling of emptiness with it.

Even with Kakashi next to her sleeping the buzz of booze off next to her, Sakura couldn't help but think that she never felt more alone in her life.

And that feeling was nothing new.

Xxx

_It was her eighteenth birthday. _

_Kakashi had showed up just as she was finishing up cleaning the house, packing away the mountain of toys her one year old son had strewn about on her living room floor. The day she found out that she was pregnant, it didn't even cross her mind that such a small human could create such a big mess._

_The silver haired man had bought her a bottle of wine as a birthday gift, telling her that it would be a waste to finally come of legal drinking age without getting at least a little drunk. Especially since her parents had offered to have Mamora stay the night at their place so she could unwind a bit and have some fun._

_She didn't expect anyone other than Kakashi to show up, so she prepared a simple dinner for them to enjoy while he sat with her in the kitchen, making small talk. He poured her a glass of wine before opening a can of beer for himself, claiming the sweet alcohol he bought for her always gave him a headache when he had more than three glasses._

_After eating, he helped her with the dishes as they bantered back and forth with each other. She went as far as to splash him with the soapy water when he teased her a little too much about being a light weight after she started feeling a buzz with only having two glasses of wine._

_Kakashi suggested they make a fire in her barbeque to enjoy the fresh summer air outside, and she quickly agreed when the house became a little too hot and stuffy for her when she started to drink her fourth glass of wine. The atmosphere was relaxing and she just wanted to spend the rest of the night listening to him play his acoustic guitar he thoughtfully brought with him._

_She couldn't remember having a birthday as fun as this one, having had to spend her seventeenth birthday with her parents since Mamora was born only a few days prior._

_Sakura had laid out a blanket on the grass in her back yard for them to sit on as Kakashi started the fire. He quickly went to his car to grab his guitar before settling himself in front of her to pluck the strings in a slow tune. She watched the orange glow of the flames dance across his face as he closed his eyes, losing himself in the notes he played. She couldn't help but openly stare at him, her lips tilting into a small smile. She knew he loved his music, and she wished she could learn how to strum a guitar herself, but she never seemed to have enough time for herself to actually learn how to play the instrument._

_So lost in thought, she was startled when Kakashi chuckled at her, placing his guitar next to him. "What?" she asked rather confused._

_"Nothing. You just seem like you were on another planet. Penny for your thoughts?"_

_Sakura smiled shyly, looking down at her index finger drawing a slow circle around the rim of her wine glass, "I was just thinking about why I never bothered to learn how to play the guitar myself. I've always wanted to, but these days I don't really seem to have much time for something like that."_

_Kakashi nodded, "yeah, you got your hands full." He stared at her for a while before adding, "I can teach you something, if you want?"_

_She seemed to think about it for a while, a smile dancing on her lips, "I am a quick learner."_

_Kakashi took that as a yes and picked up his guitar again before moving to sit next to her. He showed her how to correctly hold the guitar and placed her fingers on different strings and frets, explaining to her what chords they were and how she could play them in different patterns to get different tunes. _

_They continued on like that for a long while, Sakura giving a few giggles as he corrected her fingers every now and then. The fire was starting to die down to a small flame and it got too dark for her to properly see what she was doing, making Kakashi's task of teaching her a little difficult. They both laughed when even he failed to see exactly what her fingers was doing and he couldn't correct it, making the chord she was attempting to play sound like a dying animal. _

_"Enough of that already, I think you got the basics. We can practice some more when we're sober again."_

_Sakura snorted softly, "Yeah, and when we can actually see what it is we're doing."_

_Kakashi chuckled lightly as he took the guitar from her hands to place it beside him on the blanked. Sakura was leaning more into him as the seconds ticked by, and he doubted she even noticed. He didn't mind one bit, welcoming the warmth of her body. She sat with her back slightly pressed against his chest and he decided to boldly move his legs on either side of her to allow her to sit more snuggle between his legs._

_She didn't hesitate to completely lean back against him, closing her eyes as she rested her head back against his shoulder. Kakashi wrapped his arms around her, comfortable enough to know he could her without either of them feeling too awkward at their familiar touches with each other._

_"This is great," she sighed out, "thanks for spending the day with me."_

_Kakashi smiled down at her when she tilted her head a little more back to look up at him. His eyes traveled to her lips and his head leaned down a little bit more in that direction, but he hesitated, not sure if he should continue._

_Sakura moved to meet him halfway and attempted to kiss him on the lips, but both being rather tipsy, they missed their target and instead their first attempt at kissing ended up with Sakura kissing his chin and Kakashi's lips on the tip of her nose._

_Sakura broke out in a fit of giggles and Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle with her. She sat up away from him whilst still giggling before turning around to face him, "that was terrible!"_

_"I promise I'll do better next time."_

_Sakura calmed herself enough to softly gaze at him, tilting her head slightly to the side. He moved one of his hands to cup her cheek, gently pulling her closer. She inhaled sharply when their lips finally met in a slow kiss, both testing the waters. Changing the angle slightly, Kakashi deepened the kiss, sliding the tip of his tongue against her bottom lip to encourage her to let him explore her mouth, and she allowed him access._

_That was the first time they kissed. And she couldn't remember being kissed like this ever before._

Xxx

Kakashi woke up with a splitting headache. He definitely regretted drinking as much as he did last night. He wasn't as young as he used to be and he certainly couldn't drink as much as he did when he was twenty. At the age of twenty-seven, he ought to have started slowing down a bit when it came to alcohol.

Rubbing a hand down his face, he sat up in bed before turning to look at the sleeping woman next him. Sakura laid curled up in a ball facing him, her lips slightly parted. He studied her features for a while, noticing her swollen eyes. And the previous night's events came back to him in bits and pieces.

They had fought again. That much he could remember. He wasn't exactly sure about what, but he was sure she would remind him soon enough when she awoke as well. The kids were still asleep, and he silently thanked whatever deity for giving him a few minutes of peace and quiet before the day began as usual.

The silver haired man moved to stand up to make his way to the kitchen, he seriously needed a strong cup of coffee if he wanted to be able to function properly, and maybe drink an asprin for the hangover he was currently experiencing.

Filling up the kettle with water, he placed it on the stove before preparing a cup. As the water started to heat up, Kakashi leaned with his hip against the counter, folding his arms across his chest. His mind replayed the events of the previous night and he sighed heavily as he recalled himself cursing at Sakura. He had a friend that came to visit and the man had brought a bottle of booze and a bottle of vodka for shots.

Kakashi knew he never did well with drinking vodka. The transparent alcoholic liquid usually made him aggressive, and even though he did tell his friend no a few times, the dark haired man, Genma, ignored his refusal and practically shoved the shot down Kakashi's mouth.

After that Kakashi stopped refusing shots and both men steadily grew more buzzed as the night passed on. Sakura was somewhere around the time busy bathing the kids to get them ready for bed, and he had no idea what time exactly she came to force both men to drink a cup of coffee and told Genma in as many word to get the hell out of her house before he became too drunk to drive. She made it perfectly clear to both that she was not offering up her couch as a place for the dark haired man to crash on and that they were loud enough to disturb the sleeping kids and the neighbors.

When Genma finally left without having Sakura threaten bodily harm, Kakashi rounded on her to tell her off for being so rude to their guest.

_"It's three in the fucking morning, Kakashi. The kids are having a hard time sleeping with the two of you idiots acting like teenagers!"_

_"First time I hear that as an excuse. The kids usually sleep just fine whenever we have guests over that stay way later than three in the morning. But that's not my point!"_

_Sakura scoffed, "then what, exactly, is your point?"_

_"You basically threw the guy out! God, am I not allowed to have any fun at all? It's not like a drink myself stupid with friends every single day."_

_"No, maybe not every day, but basically every fucking weekend. I'm sick of this. Instead of having friends over and drink yourself stupid, like you put it, help out with the kids a little more. You don't see me acting like I have no responsibilities at all. Who the hell's going to have to clean up the house tomorrow? You're going to have too big of a fucking hangover to do jack shit, again."_

_Kakashi growled in frustration, "I don't see you working and bring money into this household. So if I want to have a drink every weekend I sure as hell will have a drink. I do my share, I make sure you have food on the fucking table every night. That's all me. Don't you dare lecture me about not doing enough."_

_"Oh, so we're back to that again. Real smooth, Hatake. Last time I checked, you told me you'd rather have me stay home with the kids. Now you're playing that card again? Need I remind you that you're the one that throws a hissy fit if I just so happen to have a boss that's male and my job requires me to actually interact with him?"_

_"Just shut the fuck up and get over it, that's not the problem at all. What I'm trying to tell you is that it's your job to clean the house like it's my job to provide!"_

_Sakura's jaw dropped open in disbelief at his words. Was he seriously insinuating that she was his maid? At that instant there could be crying heard from their daughter's room and Sakura moved to go and settle the toddler down to sleep again, but Kakashi grabbed her by the shoulder and shoved her behind him, "you said I should help out more with the kids. So fine, watch me do it."_

_Sakura rolled her eyes and angrily moved to go prepare a bottle of water for the two year old. She could hear Kakashi in their daughter's room talk in a comforting voice, telling the little girl to go back to sleep. His next words made Sakura go cold, almost dropping the bottle she was carrying to the two year old's room to give her._

_"Don't grow up to be such a stuck up twit like your bitch mother, sweetie."_

Kakashi sighed, rubbing his eyes with the balls of his hands. What he said was really uncalled for and he knew it. What he didn't know was why he had said it. And to his two year old daughter no less. His chest felt heavy with regret and shame, he felt like a bad partner and father. He made the mistake of fighting with Sakura in front of the kids before, and she had thoroughly chastised him about it. He promised her and himself that he would never do that again, but that was just another broken promised piled on top of the other broken promises.

He really should stop drinking as much as he did. It was becoming a problem, and he was starting to see that.

The kettle started to boil and Kakashi turned off the stove to pout the water into his cup. He added two spoons of ground coffee beans, leaving the strong dark drink without sugar and cream. He grabbed his packet of cigarettes lying on the counter to go sit outside and smoke whilst drinking the dark liquid, popping an asprin in his mouth to rid himself of this headache.

He was not looking forward to this day.

Xxx

Sakura was woken up by her two children crawling into the bed with her. She greeted them with a smile as they snuggled up to her on either side. She felt like she had been hit by a train and her mouth felt like she had been chewing on cotton the whole night.

Checking the digital clock on her bedside table, the red numbers read 11:37 am. She was surprised at the time, with the kids usually waking up at 6:30 every morning. A fleeting thought told her that it must be because they had a restless night, and she felt bad for not getting up sooner to at least prepare breakfast for them. I her grumbling stomach was any indication, the kids must be starving by now.

She took a few minutes to tickle both of them, smiling as their laughter filled the room, before getting up to go make them each a sandwich. The patter of two pairs of little feet could be heard running in the direction of the backyard and she heard her daughter exclaim, "Papa!"

She was instantly reminded of the previous night and a heavy feeling settled in her chest again. She was just thankful that the events didn't upset the children too much and their high spirits encouraged her to push her own negative feelings for the silver haired man to the back of her mind for time being.

She didn't want the kids to pick up on the atmosphere between their parents and she was determined to act like nothing happened. They could talk it out later when they were alone, but until then, she would go about her day as normal as possible and clean up the mess that was left for her.

Bringing the children their sandwiches, she gave Kakashi a nod in greeting before walking back to the kitchen to start throwing away beer cans and broken glass. It wouldn't be the first time Kakashi had broken stuff around the house in a fit of drunken anger whenever they had a falling out.

She tried to clear her head and not think about what had happened and what was said the previous night. Busying herself with the dishes, she placed the kettle on the stove to make herself a cup of tea. Crying as much as she did last night was proving to be quite horrible the next morning. Her eyes burned and her throat felt like she gargled sand.

She would continue her day like that, occupying her mind with cleaning. She managed to clean the kitchen in record time, taking a five minute tea break before starting with the laundry and then set off to vacuum the rest of the house and cleaning the children's rooms.

By the time she finished with all her chores, it was three in the afternoon and the kids had both fallen asleep for an afternoon nap on the sofa in front of the television. Sakura went to hang the laundry outside for it to dry before moving to the kitchen to get herself a glass of juice. It was a hot day, and she didn't feel like doing much after. She planned on taking a book and read for a while on her bed to relax, but as she took her first sip of her juice, Kakashi walked into the kitchen.

They made eye contact for a brief second and Sakura was sure he would want to continue where they left off the previous night, but he moved past her to grab an apple from the fridge and walked out of the kitched without a word.

Sakura sighed. She had done so well to not think too much over the fight, and just one look from Kakashi had her wishing they could just sit down like the two adults they were and talk everything out in a civilized way. He made it quite clear that he had no intention of giving her the time of his day.

Her mother used to tell her that she was a stubborn young lady that stood firm in her beliefs and fought for what she thought was right. Sakura usually was the one to initiate the talking with Kakashi after they fought, but she decided against it this time. She wanted him to come to her this time.

Even if it meant they were going to pretend that the other didn't exist for a few days, but she was too tired to give much of a damn right now. She didn't feel like fighting so soon again. She just wanted to have a peaceful afternoon.

With that decision she went to their bedroom, picked up her book from her bedside table and flipped it open to the page she read last. Making herself comfortable, she read the hours away until the kids woke up from their nap and she had to start dinner.

Xxx

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: I was splendidly surprised by the reviews I got on the previous installment of this fic. It encouraged me to pick up my laptop and start on this chap.

Just to clarify; I noticed I spelled Sakura's son's name wrong. His name is in fact Mamoru, meaning defend and/or protect. There's a reason for why she named him that, but you guys will find out that reason as the story continues. I've also did some research on some girl names for Kakashi and Sakura's daughter. Her name will be Mitsuko, which translates to light and/or shining child.

Kind of random, but my daughter's name means light and I kinda felt like drawing from my own experiences to add to this fic.

Also, Kakashi will not be 14 years Sakura's senior, their age difference will, in fact, only be 5 years.

Sorry for this terribly lengthy a/n, but I hope you guys enjoy!

Xxx

_It's been two months after Sakura's eighteenth birthday, and Kakashi made it a point to stay at her place every weekend when he was off from work. During the weekdays they would text each other to keep in touch when they couldn't be together. He was still living with a friend about an hour's drive from her home, making it impossible for the silver haired man to stay over for longer than the three days the weekends permitted._

_When Friday's came around, Kakashi would be knocking on her door at around seven in the evening, giving Sakura enough time to bathe Mamoru and put the one year old boy to bed whilst Kakashi ate the dinner she made extra for him. He would then go and have a shower while she busied herself with cleaning the dishes, and when they were both done, Sakura would go take a shower herself. They fell effortlessly into this comfortable routine from the very first weekend he decided to spend over._

_Today was a Saturday though, and it was the day before Valentine's day. _

_ Sakura had invited him into her bed the previous night, and he wasn't sure what to expect. They haven't done much more than kissing up until that point and Kakashi didn't want to push the pink haired woman into something she wasn't entirely ready for yet. To say he was surprised at her request was an understatement, but he complied to her wishes nonetheless. _

_She had cuddled up into his side as they laid together in her bed, Mamoru sleeping soundly in his own room. They talked quietly about everything and nothing for most of the night, neither of them feeling compelled enough to sleep just yet, not wanting to ruin the peaceful atmosphere._

_Sakura was the one to initiate their steamy make out session when they both fell into a comfortable silence, and he had let her take the lead on the happenings from thereon. She crawled up on top of him, not once separating from the kiss, to straddle his waist. And soon they were both naked and she sunk herself down on his shaft._

_She had kept the pace torturously slow at first, but after a few minutes, Kakashi had rolled them over and took control. He had thrust into her sheath at a mercilessly fast and hard pace. She had mewled in response, encouraging him, and soon they were both shuddering in completion._

_It was the first time they had slept together, and they had coupled two more times after that before falling asleep in each other's arms._

_Kakashi smiled at the memory of their nightly adventures as he cloud gazed, laying on the grass with Sakura dozing off on his chest. Mamoru was busy chasing a butterfly on wobbly legs, giggling as he went. He heard the pink haired woman in his arms sigh out contently before she moved to circle his waist lazily with her arm._

_"Hey, Sak…" _

_She sounded relaxed in every way as she breathed out, "yeah?"_

_He wasn't good with questions, so he just blurted out whatever words his mind jumbled together, "you're mine now."_

_He heard her giggle softly before turning her head to give his chest a light kiss, making his stomach flutter in anticipation with her answer._

_"Okay."_

Xxx

Kakashi sighed as he rolled over onto his back, scratching at his silver hair, "are we just going to ignore each other forever?"

Sakura opened her eyes and turned her head in his direction to study his face in the darkness of their room. It was almost midnight and it seemed that sleep had eluded both of them. They haven't talked to each other in three days.

"I don't know, Kakashi. What's there to talk about?"

Her voice sounded as tired as he felt. He hated living this way. Why couldn't they just talk their problems through like normal people did? Some would say that what they had was toxic, but he felt that they were wrong. Sakura just frustrated him to no end.

"Right, I guess there's nothing to talk about then."

Kakashi rolled to turn his back on her again, but Sakura's sniffling had him turn back to face her. He rolled his eyes, not sure why exactly she felt like crying. It was completely unnecessary. She was quick to shed tears and he just couldn't understand why she was such an emotional person. She was too sensitive, and he made sure to voice his thoughts to her on the matter.

He had told her the exact same thing a lot of times before, but it seemed to him that Sakura just didn't seem to care. He was startled when she suddenly got up from the bed to hastily walk out of the room and he felt like he should stand up and follow her retreating form, but decided to just leave her be instead.

"Where are you going?" he tried to keep his voice calm, but his frustration bled out of the words anyway.

"Just… just leave me to calm myself. I'll go cry somewhere else if my emotions are too much for you to tolerate."

Kakashi slammed his fist in the mattress before getting up out of the bed to follow her into the living room, "are you fucking serious right now?"

Sakura rounded him, "yes, Kakashi. I'm serious. God forbid I feel like crying because we're a mess!"

She was careful not to raise her voice above an angry whisper, not wanting to disturb the sleeping children down the hall.

"That's right, Sakura. We're a fucking mess. So please, I'm ready to hear some suggestions on how we're going to fix this shit, because I'm this close to being done."

He had kept his voice a low growl, unable to keep his anger in check anymore. If they were ever going to sort this out, now was as good a time as any.

"How about you start by saying sorry?"

Kakashi gave an incredulous laugh before moving to sit on the one seater sofa that was pushed up against one of the walls. He plucked a cigarette from his packet of smokes before lighting the rolled up stick of tabaco, taking a long drag.

Sakura had moved to sit on the matching two seater sofa next to him, pulling her legs under her. She watched him blow the smoke from between his lips, patiently waiting for his reply.

"Sorry." That single word dripped with sarcasm, and he lifted his shoulder in a half shrug as if to ask her if she was satisfied.

"Right. So, no need to apologize for telling our _daughter_ not to grow up to be like her bitch mother. No need to apologize for screaming and cussing at me, for shoving me like some rag doll. Do you even _remember_ what exactly happened? What you said and did?"

"What does it matter-"

"It matters because you want me to be your wife but I'll be damned if I marry a man that has no respect for me whatsoever."

Kakashi scoffed, "then take off that cheap ass ring if you're so adamant about marrying me and shove it up your cu-"

"My point exactly!" her chest was heaving by now, and a fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks. "Never, in all these four years, have I ever talked to you like that. No matter what you did, no matter how much you told me to go fuck myself. I have never!"

Kakashi scrubbed at his face with both his hands, sighing heavily. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just… I'm not as finely tuned to my emotions as you are and I keep forgetting that you take things to heart. You have got to stop with that, Sakura. You're too sensitive and you _know_ that I don't think before I say something. Especially when we're fighting."

Sakura bit her bottom lip to keep herself from hiccupping as she cried, moving a hand to cover her eyes.

Kakashi took her silence as his cue to continue, "look, I know what I did and said was wrong. I have no excuses for that. But you should know by now that I fight with my fists. And I can't just go around punching you, so I lash at you with my tongue. I can't help it."

She looked up at him then, her brows furrowed as she shook her head, "no, you're wrong. Of course you can help it. You knew that vodka makes you aggressive, why the hell did you drink it?"

"What, was I just supposed to refuse Genma and leave him to drink on his own when he came over with the intention of drinking and catching up with an old friend?"

"Yes, Kakashi. Because you don't _have_ to drink every fucking time you have friends over. Especially if you know that your drinking leads to this."

"Leads to what, you bitching about me trying to be my own person and do something that doesn't involve you?"

Sakura buried her face in her hands, shaking her head, "just… forget it." She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve before moving to get up from the couch.

Kakashi didn't say or do anything to stop her as he watched her go back to their room, he doubted that she would go back to sleep that easily. He quickly snuffed out his cigarette before getting up to go join her in bed, fully intending to turn his back on her. Unlike his pink haired partner, he had no trouble falling asleep. He always did have a clearer mind in the morning and decided they would continue this then.

Xxx

Sakura listened as Kakashi's breath started to even out, just like she did for the past three nights. The hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach only grew heavier with each breath he took. She hated thid so much. The feeling of emptiness overshadowed her anger and soon all she could think of how to describe her feelings accurately was immense sadness.

Maybe Kakashi was right, maybe she was too sensitive. Too quick to get angry of little things. Of course, the way he sometimes treated her was not acceptable, but he wasn't a bad partner at all.

He had taken to loving and raising her son as his own, they had a beautiful little girl together, and she would be damned if anything got between the two of them. Her mother had always warned her that love wasn't just a feeling. It was a commitment. You had to commit to it every single day. It wasn't always fifty-fifty. Sometimes it was eighty-twenty. And she only understood now exactly what it was that her mother meant.

Sakura was just so tired of it all. The fighting, the ignoring, the sleepless nights. She always imagined herself never going to sleep without resolving an issue, but her relationship with Kakashi had proven that nothing was like she expected it to be. And even though things were so _wrong_ at the moment, she couldn't imagine herself being anywhere else, or rather, with anyone else.

She loved Kakashi so much, she wasn't sure whether it hurt or felt good. But she was so tired of feeling like this.

Sakura turned to watch Kakashi's shoulders rise and fall as he slept. She knew that if they didn't get past this, their relationship would be shattered. But if they did, it would be so much stronger. They've fought about worse things before, and if they could move past that, then she sure as hell wouldn't allow this to break them apart.

They were so selfish, both of them. They had no other choice but to make this relationship work, not just for them, but for their children. Even though both of them tried their damned best to act like nothing was wrong in front of the kids, Mamoru and Mitsuko was quick to pick up on the atmosphere hanging around the house like a dense cloud. It made them fussier, quicker to fight with each other and it made Mitsuko especially cry more easily.

The pink haired woman sighed heavily before she cautiously moved closer to the sleeping man in front her. She snaked an arm around his middle, cuddling up against his back, hiding her face between his shoulder blades.

She just wanted this to end. If they couldn't fight it out, then she might as well try to lessen the tension between them until they could both just stop acting like two children and apologize to each other.

Kakashi wasn't quite asleep like she though he was as she felt him twine his fingers with hers before bringing her hand up to his lips to place a lingering kiss against her knuckles. With that one simple action alone she felt like crying again, in relief. To know that their relationship might just be strong enough to make it through this.

"I'm sorry, baby."

His whispered apology was as much as she could take, making her cry for a second time that night. She sniffled noisily, nodding her head against his back, "I'm sorry, too."

He turned around in her embrace to face her, cupping her cheek in his palm, whipping the wetness from it with his thumb. Sakura's lower lip trembled as she moved to kiss him. They didn't part for a few slow seconds, and when they did Kakashi pulled her closer to him, kissing the top of her head as he rubbed his hand up and down her back in slow circles.

"I'll try harder, I promise. I know I've been treating you unfairly and if I were you, I would've kicked someone like me under the ass a long time ago. But you chose me, like a chose you. And I love you, Sak. I don't want to lose you."

"I know."

Her voice broke as she spoke and Kakashi sighed before kissing her forehead again, "just try to sleep."

It wasn't long after he said that, she felt the exhaustion settle in and sleep overcame her. Kakashi continued to rub her back in comforting circles, kissing her temple every other few minutes until he too fell asleep.

Xxx

TBC


End file.
